Frequently Asked Questions

Can my spouse and I share one Attorney?

No, Attorneys are prohibited by ethics rules from representing both spouses in a family conflict.

If I use mediation, do I have to have an Attorney?

Yes, unless you are prepared to represent yourself in some important ways. The Mediator prepares a Memorandum of your agreement, but this is not an agreement that is intended to be signed. Typically, an experienced Family Law Attorney prepares this agreement. If you seek a divorce, you will also have to file a complaint for divorce with the court on your own.

Are there people who can’t use mediation or collaborative law?

Yes. Both processes require full and fair disclosure of information necessary to reach agreement. If one of the spouses cannot trust the other to produce all information about finances, for example, they should not use either mediation or collaborative law. Couples with a history of domestic violence or an existing restraining order also should not use mediation or collaborative law.

Are mediation and collaborative law cheaper than litigation?

Studies have shown that both mediation and collaborative law tend to be less expensive than traditional litigation. One reason is that issues are discussed with everyone in the same room: you don’t need your lawyer to write or call your spouse’s lawyer, who writes or calls your spouse, etc. Both spouses agree in the beginning to share information. In mediation, the time-consuming negotiation of issues is done without Attorneys present, which reduces cost.

I’m really angry at my spouse right now.  Are mediation and collaborative law only for people who still get along with their spouses?

You can have strong feelings and still be successful with mediation or collaborative law.  You need some help with communicating, and maybe some help managing your emotions. You don’t have to be a saint to use mediation or collaborative law; you just need to want to stay in touch with your better instincts, with some help.